


I Knew I Loved You

by etcetera_kit



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2012-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-21 23:47:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/603394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etcetera_kit/pseuds/etcetera_kit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen had been captivated by Misha from day one and their relationship firsts fell into place, despite character bleed and distance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Knew I Loved You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tfw_ftw (bekkamero)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=tfw_ftw+%28bekkamero%29).



> Thanks to my wolf pack for alpha and beta reading! Happy holidays, tfw_ftw!

**I Knew I Loved You**

Misha hid behind this mask of nonchalant randomness, as though if he was never serious, then no one could get close enough to hurt him.

Jensen saw through the bullshit right away.

He’d grown up around actors, and the whole glitz and superficiality of the wonderful world of television and movies. He understood, perhaps more than others, that actors were paid to be someone else and most found being genuine incredibly difficult. Misha was smart—hell, smarter than Jensen—and could have been anything, but he chose acting. Why? At first, Jensen thought, so he never had to be himself. Back then, Jensen thought that Misha had been hurt badly by someone or something, and he was hiding in the acting career.

Maybe Jensen just had a penchant for trying to help people, but he’d been on the show for three years already when Misha came roaring through like a hurricane. Most of the guest stars on the show came and went, barely leaving an impression on him. But Misha… after that first meeting, Jensen had a feeling that he was going to be around for a while. More specifically, Misha was going to be hanging around his life for a while.

\--------------------

Their first date happened accidentally, during the second episode that Misha filmed in season four. He only needed to be on set for an afternoon to film their scene and was in Vancouver for two nights—he came in the night before and spent the morning getting into costume and schmoozing with all the people he’d met for the first episode. They finished filming the scene quickly. Jensen was mesmerized by Misha and, if Dean came across as a little terrified but also turned on by Castiel, then Jensen blamed that one-hundred percent on Misha.

Jensen had always been intensely private and did a very good job of keeping his personal life out of the limelight. He was so far off the radar that most Hollywood gossip magazines couldn’t even speculate on his life—everything from where he lived to sexual orientation. Only Jared and his parents knew that he really went for men more than women. Everyone else just thought he was a very friendly and very nice guy.

And then there was Misha.

They finished up the scene and had been going back to their respective trailers to get out of costume. Theoretically, that meant that Jensen would be heading home and Misha was going back to his hotel. He was tired and drained from all the intense emotions that scene with Misha made him feel. He wanted to go home, take a long shower, finish the bottle of wine and go to bed.

But that was not destined to happen.

Misha caught up to him. 

“Hey, Jensen,” he said, like they were great friends and hadn’t met all of about two weeks ago. “Thanks for taking the time to show me around the set the other day.”

“No problem,” he said shortly.

“Let me make it up to you with dinner.”

“Misha, I—“

“I know, you want to go home and relax, which is great, because dinner will be in your kitchen.”

“What?”

Misha shrugged. “I picked up some stuff this morning and it’s in the fridge of my trailer.”

How Misha picked that up so quickly was beyond him, but he’d learn that was the way that Misha worked—he tended to know what Jensen wanted even before he knew. And Jensen eventually began to think that was why he acted like he did—so Jensen knew that anything between them was genuine and not character bleed, because Castiel would never act that ridiculous.

“You were planning this all morning?”

“Well, since last night when I got here.”

Jensen just smiled and shook his head. “So what’s for dinner?”

Misha, as it turned out, was an incredibly good cook. They got back to Jensen’s apartment about an hour later. In another hour, they were eating steak, baked potatoes and broccoli. Jensen was practically moaning around the food.

“Where did you learn to cook?”

All he got in response was a grin and, “I like to read.”

“Read?”

“If you can read, you can cook.”

“Oh really?”

“Oh yes.”

Misha looked away, concentrating on his food. Yeah, he definitely hadn’t missed that Misha had the messy dark hair and bright blue eyes, along with the pale skin he loved on anyone, male or female. He also found his thoughts drifting to what Misha had under the suit and trench coat and, from what he could see under the t-shirt and jeans now, he wouldn’t be disappointed.

“So how’s this for a first date?”

Jensen stared at him. “This is a date?”

“Yeah. I’m cooking for you, aren’t I?” For the first time in the last two weeks, Misha looked a little uncertain. “Is that all right?”

He thought for a moment, before confirming with, “Yes.”

“Good.”

He didn’t expect their first kiss to happen just a few seconds later. The moment he said yes, Misha dropped his silverware and rounded the small table. He leaned down pressed his lips to Jensen’s, soft and warm and hinting of so much more. Before Misha could interpret his inaction as disinterest, he responded, pulling Misha by the waist into his lap. Misha hummed his approval, before deepening the kiss. Jensen opened up to him. Misha was like fire, consuming him whole—he never went this fast went anyone, but everything with Misha felt so _right_.

So they ended up with two firsts that night—one of the only dates they could agree on for actual anniversaries.

\--------------------

Jensen never seemed to move fast with the people he dated—for him, waiting months to have sex was not unusual. But nothing was usual with Misha. They spent the night after their first date talking and ignoring the bad late night television. 

He found out Misha was from Boston, had two siblings and changed his name during college to be easier to spell. He was a published poet, had built his house in LA himself, and had been a White House intern—all before changing careers to acting.

He told Misha about growing up in Richardson, Texas, about how his parents were both actors, and all about his little sister. He told him about the soap opera and Dark Angel and Smallville and stumbling across the Supernatural part.

They knew each other’s birthday, favorite wine and favorite place to have sex.

But the first time they had sex was when Misha got back into town for episode three. Jensen convinced him to come into town a night early and stay with him, rather than the studio-reserved hotel room. Misha got in the door. Jensen hadn’t been sure if he’d be okay sleeping in the same bed or if Jensen should plan on sleeping on the couch, so he’d mentally prepared for both scenarios. The door was barely closed and Misha’s bag dumped on the floor, before Jensen found himself pressed up against the wall, making out hungrily with Misha. They’d only been apart a few days, but, God, he’d missed this. 

Misha took a step back, smiling. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi yourself,” he responded.

“I hope you don’t snore.”

“What?”

“Which way to the bedroom?”

He always took a minute to catch up with Misha.

By the time his brain caught up to and processed the situation, Misha was already carrying his bag into the bedroom, without being told where said bedroom was located. The other man just tossed his duffel bag into the room and looked over his shoulder at Jensen.

“You coming?” he asked.

“Only if you do too.”

_Christ_ , where did that come from? Jensen felt himself blush hotly as Misha just smiled, blue eyes amused and hungry.

“You’re adorable when you’re flustered,” Misha commented.

“And you’re a little presumptuous.”

“I thought you wanted me to come?” He paused, looking thoughtful, before smirking and tossing out, “I’ll have you know, I’m fantastic in bed.”

Misha wasn’t lying.

Round One lasted for six hours. They came up for air long enough to eat something and sleep for what amounted to a power nap, before starting all over again. Cliff—their driver—was practically banging down the door to get their attention the next morning, as Round Three was going on under the increasingly chilly shower spray.

Make-up had to cover more than a few hickeys. Jared just raised an eyebrow—Jensen knew he’d have to talk to his bed friend later, but for now, he was happy to exchange knowing looks with Misha and sneak to his trailer on breaks.

The fans always went on about homoerotic subtext on the show.

They had no idea.

\--------------------

Jensen was pretty sure that Misha didn’t have deep-seated trust issues, per se. Their insane sex life would attest to that. Sometimes Jensen wondered if Misha was still hiding pieces of himself, because he’d get distant, and not really answer a question. Sure, they’d only been going out a few months at that point in time and they had been apart for some of that time, but Jensen wanted Misha—hell, any of his partners—to be completely honest and not try to evade him. He realized around month two that he didn’t want to fix Misha, not like some other people he dated, because he was positive that Misha wasn’t broken.

“Stop trying to make me into some sycophantic kept boy!”

He knew how the fight had started—they were nearing the end of season four. Misha was staying in town longer and longer, but had to go back to LA more often lately for other roles. Jensen knew that, but he also wanted them to at least consider living together. Jensen would be heading back to LA when they wrapped filming. They were at that time of the season where everything was uncertain—they didn’t know if they’d get another season or if Castiel would be brought back. The uncertainty put everyone on edge, and they were no exception.

He’d asked about Misha’s plans, which led to the fact that neither of them knew what would be happening here. Misha had a house in LA and Jensen was willing to live with him—they could stay at his place in Vancouver, if they came back. Which, of course, led to what amounted to a turf war. Misha just got tense and changed the subject. And when he felt pressed into a corner, he lashed out.

And now the ridiculous accusation.

“What?” he shot back. “Where would—“

“Stop!” Misha interrupted him. “You want me—“

“I want you to be you—and you’re not! _That’s_ the issue!”

“How am I not?”

“You keep checking out!”

“I’m not! I listened to all your stupid character philosophizing, didn’t I? You’re the one that needs a break!”

“What?”

“You’re so wrapped up in this goddamn show! I’m never sure when I’m getting Dean Winchester or Jensen Ackles!”

_That_ drew him up short.

“Right,” Misha said sarcastically. “Because you never get character bleed. If I didn’t love you—“

“Wait, wait! You love me?”

“You’re an idiot.”

Their first real fight ended in a first that shook Jensen—he really did love Misha and couldn’t imagine life without him. Hell, he could imagine them building a life together, getting old and doing normal, mundane things. And that made him feel like all this uncertainty wasn’t really all that uncertain after all.

“Why are you such a stubborn asshole?”

“I’m a stubborn asshole? I think you invented it!”

\--------------------

In the end, Misha was picked up as a regular for season five. And the stupid where to live argument had a surprisingly simple resolution—although neither of them would admit that Jensen had been right in the first place.

In their lives, they had so many firsts to celebrate, so they ended up celebrating them all. And Misha was just himself.

“Why television?” Jensen asked him one night.

They were not filming the show at that time—they were home in LA, in the house that Misha had practically built himself. In some ways, the house was too big for Misha, so Jensen moving in seemed to fill in the gaps. The night was mild for a late winter night in California. They had the windows open, the city noises filtering softly through the sheer curtains. The couch was one that Jensen nearly forgot he had—soft leather, over-stuffed—that he remembered when he emptied his storage unit in LA. They were sprawled on that couch now, Misha’s head on his stomach. Misha had been channel-surfing, Jensen watching him. The night was idle, but Misha turned off the television at Jensen’s questions.

“When you’re around politicians, you realize that they’re really just putting on an act to get their bill or whatever pushed through. You learn a lot about acting from them.” Misha shrugged. “Getting paid to act rather than pretend to love political bureaucratic bullshit seemed logical at the time. And pays better.”

Jensen chucked shortly at that.

“What about you?” Misha asked. “Why this?”

“Seemed easier than professional football.”

His boyfriend laughed, gently elbowing him in the side. Jensen shifted so he could see Misha’s expression. “Why me?” he asked. “You seemed to know from day one what you wanted.”

Misha shrugged again. “You were genuine. Don’t see that in politics or acting.” He paused, before adding, “Helped that you were the hottest guy in a ten-mile radius.”

“Ten miles, huh?”

“Something like that. I can’t believe you went along with me at first.”

“You’re kind of hard to say no to.”

Misha smiled. “You’re just a big jellybean, aren’t you?”

Yeah, they were meant to be.


End file.
